Statement from Gaia on Events Surrounding Commerce Based WMD

The Green House
Office of the Press Secretary
________________________________________________________________
For Immediate Release April 23, 2011

Statement from Gaia on Events Surrounding Commerce-based WMD

The Green House is troubled by reports of continued development of WMDs by the economic engines of both the developing nations and the developed nations. Gaia has made a number of calls to both foreign and domestic leaders regarding the ongoing situation with little response. As a result, surgical strikes have been undertaken at high value targets both here in the US, and abroad. This release will detail the latest on Gaia’s efforts to curtail the development and deployment of WMDs.

As you know, it was determined 250 years ago that humanity was beginning to develop–and deliver–planetary wide WMDs in the form of CO2 and other GHGs. This was confirmed 30 years ago by our intelligence assets located in the stratosphere, troposphere, and the tropopause. Faced with the challenge of dealing with these WMDs the Green House, in conjunction with the DoA (Department of Atmosphere), immediately began to examine alternatives that might limit the production of WMDs. To that end, a number of high value targets were identified. And in an effort to convince the parties that further development of WMDs is not only unwise–but dangerous as well–two of these targets have been assaulted by precision weather-based strikes.

The strikes against the both the Fukushima Nuclear Power facility in Japan and Lambert-St. Louis International Airport are only meant as warnings. That said, AFRB (Anthropogenic Forcing of the Radiative Balance) and the DeD (Department of Energy Dissipation) are currently planning a shock and awe campaign titled Operation Tipping Point.

The Green House wishes to stress that these strikes are not meant as an act of war on the part of Gaia, but rather as a set of warnings: to elucidate that path that awaits the developers of commerce-based WMDs here on planet Earth.

Further surgical strikes are planned, though the Green House has wisely decided to order a pause to more strikes, while it awaits a response. It is hoped that all the parties will understand both the nature and intent of these strikes–as well as the extensive forces behind them.

Further, the Green House has stated that the planet and its weather systems will no longer tolerate continued rhetoric like cap and trade, carbon intensity, corporate green-washing, and faux sustainability. Gaia, in a prepared statement just minutes ago stated: “Effective measures must be immediately put in place to stem the growth of greenhouse gases.”

In conclusion, it is hoped that the ER (Economic Regime) will understand that these surgical strikes are only the opening salvo and that enhanced devastation is planned. Further, the Green House wishes to state that widespread physical and economic damage–as well as a significant loss of life–are part of Operation Tipping Point and that the operation will engage and proceed without warning.