Peak Stupid

Peak Stupid

Two decades ago, calculations came to light regarding the most curious event of our age: Peak Stupid. Previously, it had been a fait accompli that the world’s supply of stupid would remain an unending cascade of drivel destined to flow for generations. Enough stupid to run our government, enough stupid to cripple our economy, nonsense to support the growth of stupid cartels, to foster stupid third world development, stupid policies, and stupid geo-engineering projects–once upon a time–stupid seemed unstoppable.

Some even claimed Peak Stupid was a misnomer for a post-traumatic stress syndrome resulting from the worldwide Stupid Shocks of the late 1970’s and early 1980s. For those of you too young to remember, the Stupid Shocks of the early eighties were marked by long lines of citizens waiting for bits of information via TV networks, the print media, or the radio. At the time, it was not unusual for information to be delivered in sub-gigabyte quantities by less than twenty channels. Cable television was in its infancy. The vast resources of the Internet were still under debate. The shill-laden comments sections from supposedly adroit, though loquacious neighbors, was just a gleam in the eye of propagandists. “No,” said many, “Peak Stupid is a myth. There is an unlimited supply of MAS.”

After all, MAS (Modern American Stupid) had spread from the first world to the third world. Reports of issues on the climate were buried. Reagonomics was in place. The promise of promoting economic vitality by creating unbridled debt, selling hedge financial scams, generating fewer jobs, exporting the manufacturing base, the development of PACS, and, the coddling of strong-arm lobbyists to cut into the tax base had many seeing a future greased in MAS. A saying of the time: “Greed is good,” had most aching for the promise of wide scale stupid. “Making people feel unintelligent by having them betray themselves has a wicked, delicious feel to it. The computing problems are enormous–but we want it,” said one propagandist of the time. Others might still remember a famous Super Bowl advertisement declaring freedom based on computing–the herald of a national facebook, and alike, little more than an image on a screen. Even so, highly relevant personal data delivered to the bosom of corporate-big-brother, fostered by home-based computing systems and social networks seemed just within reach. The problem of keeping critical information away from the population had many worried, but MAS had gained worldwide traction by the end of the 1980’s. Peak Stupid seemed a fading concern.

Then MAS began butting up against Internet technology. Some even hinted stupidity had mortality as advances in the dissemination of data with context began enlightening the population. Peak Stupid became a clubhouse topic of the 1990s. Trumpeted by a declaration Peak Stupid would not only occur, but it would occur in the second decade of the 21^st century–fostered by computation and a changing climate. The premonition attracted venom from lobbyists, M&A lackeys, and corporate raiders. They declared stupid was an unlimited resource, and for good reason… Stupidity was being exported by the boatload along with worn out jeans, chemical laden foods, and idiotic media. Said one unnamed high-level presidential source, “Duh, stupid is good.” A sentiment echoed again at the beginning part of the twenty-first century by another presidential source.

Even with glimmers of Peak Stupid in the making, funding for MAS had no shame in the early part of the 21^st century. Stupidity had vast resources of liquefied stupid, gasified stupid, and of course, the stupidity of fracking. Which at the time was considered far too costly to be pumped and delivered to the population in mass quantities, even so, MAS seemed to be the law of the land.

Then, as predicted–at the close of that first decade of the 21^st century–stupidity began to peak. Insights clear to scientists and academics began to show up in various places where MAS once ruled. The affect of anthropogenic forcing of the radiative balance was changing the safe harbor of stupidity into a Ponzi scheme. An entire population had begun to witness devastating hurricanes like Katrina, F-5 tornadoes with wind speeds of almost 300MPH, derechos stretching across states, and the vicious cycles of drought, fire, and flooding. The supposedly unlimited resource of stupidity seemed less than secure. The price of being stupid began to rise. Entrenched interests breathed a sigh of relief. Market forces were at work: Perhaps a dim-witted belief in the marketplace could save stupidity. Some MAS economists even proposed cost would limit Peak Stupid.

Until it became clear that stupidity was no longer a commodity, but a luxury we could no longer afford. Worse, stupidity was not being replaced by the renewable resource of apathy; stupidity was being replaced by critical thinking. Idiocy, people realized, led to insanely stupid acts, like driving into a tornado to escape a tornado, ignoring a shift of El Nino towards the central Pacific, or funding city-scale sea defenses against the rising oceans. Citizens witnessed intense suffering and death, a result of engaging in stupid acts fostered by media misinformation. Faced with the death of loved ones, people saw that without clarity they–like their loved ones–might be road kill. Economic interests began to falter. Food prices accelerated upwards.

Today, the predictions of Peak Stupid land around us like SUVs tossed by a twister. The price of stupidity–long a staple of an archaic economic base–has become too dear. Some even suggest that price supports for stupid be lifted and those funds directed towards rational thought, corporate responsibility, and responsible government.

In response, media organizations with ties into the cartel of stupidity have fought the move to critical thought. Those with a heritage instituted by stupidity also joined the debate declaring that not only is “Peak Stupid a myth.” That in the future, “The population will be just as stupid as they were in the previous decades and the rising cost of inanity merely a bubble caused by catastrophe.” Then, citing the deniers of the changing climate as more proof, “For years, corrupted sources have claimed our weather could never get bad enough to impact economics. Yet with weather systems far worse than many believed possible and supply chains under deadly assault–those media outlets and faux researchers proven wrong–vast portions of the population still do not reject the so-called media experts en masse. Nor do many in the population seek alternative resources for information. They suck up the same old lies year after year. Stupidity is alive and thriving all around the globe thanks to our corrupted media systems…” Some purveyors of stupidity have even declared that stupid will only affect the dim-witted, and that Peak Stupid remains a myth for that reason.

In response, those not tied into the myth of universal stupid state the obvious: Stupidity is a luxury we can no longer afford. The planet is no longer benign enough to provide quarters to MAS. Stupidity equals obliteration as the climate transforms into patterns deadly to human endeavor–like the El Nino shift towards the central Pacific. Further, enhancing stupidity via the media to alter rational decisions on vehicles and energy makes stupid a threat multiplier. Ignoring Peak Stupid will not just affect dullards. MAS and its policies will dramatically cut into our population.

The pundits of MAS reply–with astounding stupidity–that a culling of the population is the answer to Peak Stupid. In a very few ways, they could be right; however, the idea of culling the population to circumvent change is more than stupid. Economic cleansing, just like ethnic cleansing, is evil.