RING RING

Ring. Ring (a telecom auditory alert mechanism).

“Hello?”

“Ms. Tipsce?”

“Yes?”

“This is Prudence Tree-Hugger. How are you this evening?”

“Fine, how can I help you, Ms. Tree-Hugger?”

“Ms. Tipsce, call me Prudence. I wanted to let you know the sand bagging class has been cancelled. Oh, and while I have you on the phone, I was wondering if you have thought about environmental insurance for you and your family?”

“Why I haven’t, Ms. Tree-Hugger. Should I?”

“Ms. Tipsce, environmental insurance is a very important item in today’s household. You have fire insurance on your home?”

“Yes I do.”

“Did you know the chance of a fire at your residence is less than 1% in any year?”

“Well yes, I did know that, but I thought it sensible to get fire insurance anyway. My home means a lot to me.”

“And you have car insurance as well?”

“That’s right, Ms. Tree-Hugger. Even though I know my chance of getting into a serious accident any year is low as well. Still I thought it wise to get insurance. Besides, in both cases–my car and my home–the banks and the government require insurance.”

“Yes, of course a partnership of protection. What about life insurance?”

“Yes, I have that as well. And frankly I thought that covered my insurance needs.”

“Well Ms. Tipsce, if I told you there is more than a 90% chance that you will need environmental insurance; specifically climate insurance in the very near future, what would your response be?”

“There is nothing about it on the TV or Internet. I’d say 90% is a pretty high number and I’d wonder why most people haven’t recognized the issue as dangerous and put it on the evening news–or at least as an advertisement from one of the major insurance companies.”

“Environmental insurance isn’t something you buy. It’s awareness, clarity of circumstance, an understanding of the environment, and your place in it.”

“Oh, no wonder I haven’t seen it on the TV. Environmental insurance is about thinking, or being aware. Ms. Tree-Hugger, I solve my troubles by buying things that fix my problems. I think you have a heck of an uphill battle here. Are you really asking people to take personal responsibility for our environment? Is that what you’re selling?

“Well yes, that’s exactly what I am selling. We suggest people get reliable data on the environment so they can make intelligent decisions about their lives…”

“You don’t sell prepackaged answers to the problem?”

“We’re not selling a laxative.”

“It would be easier, Ms. Tree-Hugger.”

“We do not have all the answers due to the speed with which the climate is changing. Also, the answers are changing because of the huge experiment underway on the benefits of putting our species at risk for economic advantage. Then there is the experiment of keeping a marginalized population ignorant about the planet. Then there is the experiment of modifying the planet. Then there is…”

“That’s fascinating. I really must be going.”

“Yes and a bit dangerous, for everyone.”

“Oh I mean dangerous. Are you saying I need to figure out how the climate change we are forcing into place will affect my family? Then try to protect my family?”

“Them, your livelihood, your food, your water, your shelter, your safety, your medical systems, your neighborhood, the infrastructure, and a few other items not worth mentioning because they will soon be relegated to minutia–by the onslaught of triage.”

“Wow. Why isn’t the government doing something about this?”

“The government can’t act without a political mandate–and right now there is too much manufactured confusion to make changes.”

“That’s for sure. But, Ms. Tree-Hugger, as things stand, environmental insurance means I’d have to do research on my own, or find trustworthy information sources. I no longer know what a trustworthy source of information looks like. Besides, I am about to attend a meeting on peanut butter. I’ve just been promoted to chief-taste-tester. I am sorry, Ms. Tree-Hugger but I am far too busy to consider the flavors of my environment, let alone do research on it ahead of time. But thank you for calling. I’ll call you if I decide to examine my future environment.”

“I understand how you feel, Ms. Tipsce. Others have felt that same way also. They found that a little early awareness goes a long way in times of confusion.”

“Sorry. I must go now, Ms. Tree-Hugger, good-bye.”

“Wait, Ms. Tipsce. Do you mind if I put you on my list and check back with you? Did you know there are some eight-hundred tornadoes a year here in the US? Your area is due some wicked storms in the next six months, peanut butter or not.”

“Oh that. It’ll never happen to me. Thank you for calling.”

“Thank you and have a nice night, Ms. Tipsce.”

“Oh, Ms. Tree-Hugger, is there any chance six months might be too long to wait for you to call me back on this?”

“It is a possibility.”

“Then call me in three months. Wow, did you hear that roar? It sounded like a train. Good-bye, Ms. Tree-Hugger, good luck with that environment thing.”

“Good-bye, Ms. Tipsce, and good luck with that peanut butter thing.”

Click. (The termination of a datacom event.)