BREAKOUT! Consumer F8

An Analysis of Consumer Climate Interest Rates  

Since bottoming-out in late 2009, consumer climate interest rates, F8, has risen about 4% in three years. The DCI (Dead Cattle Index), and DLI (Dry Lightning Index) have also both risen by 2% in the same period, not too impressive, until you compare that to S&M (Scams and Misinformation Index) which has cratered by 60% during the same period. “A disturbing market pattern,” says our guest today, F.M. Train-Wrecks of Apathy Inc. “Add in the Colorado fires, the deluge in Florida, multistate derechos, sea level rise, the sweat-box summer, and we have a perfect storm leading to higher climate interest rates among consumers. F8 appears to be staging a breakout that is approaching its all time high of November of 2005,” says Train-Wrecks.

From trailers to trampolines, SUVs to power poles, AC to DC, the thump of storms and their damage continues unchecked. Something, according to this analyst at Apathy Inc, that indicates mounting disasters are an opportunity for more truth-engineering. “To be clear, defeating the truth had been an easy hurdle up until recently,” says Train-Wrecks, a spokesperson for Apathy. “In a few years that will not be the case as firsthand accounts of climate related disasters mount among the population defeating media disinformation. Consider there will be more storms like the one we had this weekend, and not just in the Mid-Atlantic States. So-called land hurricanes 500 miles or larger with little or no warning are likely to become a regular summer visitor to the US in the coming years. Infrastructure will wither, air conditioners will falter, companies will be unable to conduct business, water systems will fail, and food distribution will have no quarter. Climate interest rates will rise and consumer attitudes toward market propaganda will see a backlash unlike anything we have seen in generations.”

But first things first–we need to get through the next three months and keep interest rates from rising too far. When asked about the F8, Wrecks said, “We have five years, probably less, before F8 swamps the rest of the market. Consumer anger will be off the scale. Unless we can nip it in the bud and take control of climate interest rates.”

This all makes sense given the year over year change in focus by the layperson on weather catastrophes starting with the cycle of drought and storms in Australia during Q2 of 2011, the cyclones of epic proportions in the Southern and Western Pacific, as well as the smack of tsunamis that crippled the nuclear industry in Japan. We also had the outbreak of 289 tornadoes in three days and floods in the Midwest, the Texas drought and the Texas fires. “The Texas drought was certainly no help nor were the wildfires,” said Train-Wrecks. “The cyclic decrease in consumer interest rates in Q4 of 2010 crumbled. We’ve seen the same in Q4 of 2011, setting up the dead cat bounce of the first quarter in 2012 leading to the disastrous second quarter of 2012 that saw winter look like spring, another fierce tornado breakout of over a hundred storms in one day, a huge burnout in Colorado, all followed by irresponsible scientists releasing data on sea level rise, ocean acidity, and ocean salinity.” Is it any wonder that the multistate fires of the last thirty days coupled with storms in Florida dropping two feet of rain followed by a 500-mile long derecho up north would further raise climate interest rates?

One bright spot on the horizon remains North Carolina as it continues its landmark efforts to make science, and therefore truth, illegal. “Making science illegal is a great start,” says Train-Wrecks. With that gambit, we’ve picked up a lot of apathy worldwide, lethargy that the Asian countries had been losing. With enough confusing statements, bad news becomes good news. Once we bombard the consumer into indifference.” He continues with, “We also plan to rebuild that Asian apathy once the fog of consumerism blinds another entire continent.”

Of course, there is this little thing called the reduction in albedo that refuses to go away causing volatility in peasant populations as well as climate interest rates worldwide. Markets seek to keep people focused on raping the Arctic Ocean of its resources and establishing trade routes–rather than the disaster of methane release and loss of cooling from Arctic albedo. Greenland’s mess doesn’t help either since it appears a bailout of the European spin industry appears to be waning and more extreme measures debated.

“Generally speaking, those seeking a rapid reduction in consumer climate interest rates favor flat out lies to the more gentle process of apathy, though many are coming around to the belief that apathy has its place. Making (human) citizens feel powerless in the face of the changing climate can quell interest rates long term. It worked after Katrina. If we pile on corporate invincibility through high visibility lobbying efforts and buckets of political corruption, apathy has no place to go but up. Defeated citizens generally have low expectations of their world–so interest rates are bound to drop as well.” Pointing to the success of the G8 claiming all politicians are cut of the same clothe, he follows with, “At some point we must point out winners and losers to reinforce indifference. With the upcoming election and its lack of choices, Q4 should be a real bright spot in a normally fruitful fourth quarter for dulling critical thinking among citizens.”

Afterwards, the real work begins. “If you assume that clarity can’t last forever, at some point consumer interest in the climate will wither and we will start to see a loosening up of interest rates. Even though many still expect F8 to be a factor, there is hope consumers will shed the ideal of an enlightened society, deserting beliefs in morality–dismissing their faith in institutions in the name of survival–and thereby establishing a low interest base for those battered beliefs. This is what the next twelve months are all about now. An increase in corporate hiring is a good step. Under-employment is a better step. A breadwinner fearing for the family has little interest in the climate.”

Once blessed with relative superiority to other forms of crowd control, the movies and biased news stories continue to lose steam in modulating consumer interest rates. Train-Wrecks is quick to point out a silver lining by saying, “This is not to declare truth is about to get legs or that scientific facts are going to get respect by investors. Instead, we are expecting a topping out that will remain through the summer leading to nice returns in the last quarter of 2012.” He is quick to add further incidences of multi-million-person disasters have some analysts worried; while hinting at suggestions that military style Psy-Ops techniques could further be employed to savage the psyche of both investors and consumers to quell a possible rise in climate interest rates in 2013, particularly in the spring. “Making war remains an interesting option, as do domestic drones, further reductions in rights, another scare in the Mideast, or bogus election battles by puppet politicians,” said Train-Wrecks. “After all global warming is all about engineering.”

“Keeping people unclear about their fate remains the key,” said Train-Wrecks.

Overall, F8 looks like one disaster after the other with the pace quickening year over year. “Engineering can do just so much if the planet seeks to make you extinct. Just look at the oil companies.”