Press Release
February 22, 2012
The Flatland Institute has issued the following statement concerning the insurgent called The Third Dimension.
“Earlier this evening, the Third Dimension, a prominent figure in the topological movement, confessed to adding a new dimension to fractal research done by The Flatland Institute. An effort to suggest our planet contains not only the dimensions of Length and Width but the dimension of Depth as well–it was all in an attempt to discredit and embarrass a group that disagrees with his view that there are three dimensions (or more) to any discussion, rather than two dimensions (right and wrong), as our Flatland researchers have proven.”
The Third Dimension’s crime is a serious one. The fractal (a fraction of a dimension) added to the computers and various internet sites contained unregulated information about Flatland. Indicating the existence of Depth, the release has violated the Flatland Institute’s most trusted precept of fostering two-dimensional discussions in two-dimensional research for a two-dimension society.
An additional document by the Third Dimension has been represented as coming from The Flatland Institute and it purports to set out Flatland’s strategies on denial of Depth.
“It has been extensively cited by web sites and blogs of our plane. We at Flatland are heartened to see that the two-dimensional news sources have published only our response and we thank them. Even so, the false document put out by the Third Dimension, has caused severe and enduring damage to the reputations of our two-dimensional scientists, policy experts, as well as the organizations we work with by calling into account the notion that we live in more than a two-dimensional space. A mere topological statement is not enough to undo the damage.”
In his statement, the Third Dimension claims the injection of Depth was committed because he believed The Flatland Institute was preventing a “rational In-Depth debate.”
In response to this accusation, the Director of the Flatland Institute said, “This is unbelievable as there is no Depth to anything–according to our researchers.” Even so, the Flatland Institute has repeatedly asked for real debate on this important topic. The Third Dimension was specifically invited to attend a two-dimensional debate, one without Depth of course. The Third Dimension turned down the invitation saying a two-dimensional debate on a Third Dimension made no sense.
“We hope the Third Dimension will make a complete confession without the obfuscation of Depth, thereby meeting our requirement for a two-dimensional society, one without Depth. In the meantime, we ask that others ignore the defamatory commentary about Flatland that comes from any dialogue containing Depth, specifically comments on the shortsightedness of limiting debates to two-dimensions. There is right and wrong in our world–and nothing else,” said the Director of the Institute. “Further we demand that web sites issue retractions stating anything more than a two-dimensional debate on any topic has no meaning. In particular a debate that includes Depth.”
“Our mission is to expand and sponsor two-dimensional solutions for problems with the sole intent of meeting the funding requirements of our benefactors. Depth has no place in our research.”
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The Flatland Institute is a 128-year-old organization.
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