Chucklehead & Wheeler

Chucklehead & Wheeler

Profligation

Prostitution

Pandemonium

Looking for a do-anything whore? Have the times caught up to you? Does your slow drilling get you down? Or have all the normal whores cut you off for your…exotic behavior? Perhaps that last Tinder-find disappointed you, again? Call Chucklehead & Wheeler. Your go-to, do-anything, whores in Washington DC–and all over America.

Think Chucklehead & Wheeler for that very special lube. C&W will grease the skids so you don’t have to. C&W can even bend ‘em over for you. Or perhaps you’re just looking to lay some pipe? Perhaps it’s just the clean environment that bothers you. Is filth your middle name? C&W understand and they are here to help–for a price. Chucklehead & Wheeler will guard your most wasteful activities, or bury them underground, stick it in a pipe, or ship it to the far corners of the Earth.

And remember, with Chucklehead & Wheeler there is no sense of guilt for pandemonium because your perversions are their perversions. Just looking for a way to open up the hidden coal vein in your heart? There are no hearts as black and ugly as theirs. Let’s hear from couple of satisfied clients–Murray and Donny.

“Hi, this is Murray.”

“Hi, this is Donny. Go ahead, Murray.”

“Thanks Donny. I’ve been using Chucklehead & Wheeler as my personal bitches for over a year now and I can tell you this. If you’re looking for a willing pair of sluts who will do anything for buck, Chucklehead & Wheeler are the kind of whores you want. Take my advice–profligration is their middle name–alongside their motto: ‘What’s in it for us?’”

“All correct, Murray. Count on Chucklehead & Wheeler for immorality, a lack of social concerns, and demonic view of the world around them. Their world is your ego, a shameless, unethical void, ruled by sociopathic attitudes towards life–any life. And frankly, I appreciate this attitude of theirs more than most. Except when it comes to sucking up–nobody sucks more than Chucklehead & Wheeler.”

“You’re right Donny. C&W can put a shine on anything.”

“Right you are, Murray. So listen folks–maybe you just like to screw others up and not just screw them. So do I. We’re trash. They’re trash. We’re greasy. They’re greasy. We lie. They got your back. So grab a hold of what you want. And best of all, don’t be worried about law enforcement. Both Chucklehead & Wheeler were attorneys so the chances of the police barging in your door before the police barge through their doors are almost zero. Who else guarantees you a fun environment like that? It’s the Chucklehead & Wheeler difference. So sit back and relax imagining all the ways you can screw people, places, and things.”

Thanks Guys. Face it. Being a sociopath can be a lonely life. With Chucklehead & Wheeler by your side, your sociopathic behavior can be shared with like-minded fascists, misanthropes, and egomaniacs. Does it ever get any better than that? Imagine the moral, environmental, and social decay that can be yours to promote.

Or are you the quiet type–like Mikey–enjoying filth in the privacy of your office or limousine. That’s okay with C&W. Fracking, fucking, drilling, or pumping, it’s all the same to Chucklehead & Wheeler–your partners in perversion–on a planetary scale.

Think Chucklehead & Wheeler. When your regular whore can’t–or won’t–do it for you!