From: W. Smith–Ministry of Truth–Oceania
To: All Staff
Subject: Deck chair arrangement on the Titanic
Date: May 30, 2011
Reports of increases in waterspouts, tornadoes, and other peculiar weather phenomena are to be ignored by staff. Work on rearrangement of the deck chairs for the Titanic will continue unabated.
Further, additional cyclonic activity, early monsoon activity, and rogue wave activity are to be discounted at once by all supervisors. This is a follow on to my earlier memo where you were advised to discount increases in drought, flood, hurricanes, hail, extinction rates, tectonic activity, pestilence, disease, worldwide decreases in crop yields, and sea level rise. The Ministry of Love will be advised of your activities.
Next, personnel that insist on linking these events to anthropogenic forcing of the radiative balance are to be reprimanded immediately and forced to repeat our glorious mantra: “No single event can be tied to the changing climate.”
Lastly, meetings are scheduled at nine and eleven to discuss placement of the deck chairs. At two and four, we will be discussing the placement of the chaise sections as well as the hassocks. At eight, twelve, five, and eleven we will be discussing placement of the TVs and other media sources. Please make sure to keep all these appointments, as they are critical to the display of our well being here on the Titanic.
Ignorance is Strength.
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