A National Strategy of…
Fighting the Planet and Pissing Off the Neighbors.
Spoiler Alert:
(It doesn’t end well with anyone).
May 192026
For those on the cutting edge of catastrophe–who ignore it.
Your world-class myopia could be recognized in 2026. Let’s look at a previous winner…
THE NERO AWARD COMPETITION – 2012
First published as text on August 2, 2012.
– THE THREE MONKEY PLAQUE –
2012 NERO AWARD WINNER:
* The State of North Carolina – House Bill 819 *
Introduction:
In what can best be described as a tragedy, one group, the Dinosaurs, refuse to believe that their 160 million year reign on planet Earth might end due to a meteor forecast by a different group—the Monkeys—a species who hasn’t even ascended to planetary attachment. “Therefore, the alarm comes from a less than capable species, the Monkeys,” declares Hephestus Rex.
Mar 312026
Dear Mr. Quixote:
Nest O’ Fools is a tranquil coastal community located along the Atlantic Ocean.
Another elite homeowner association was embarrassed by the public focus–because the HOA tried to keep their homes safe from the rising ocean. The HOA allocated sand from the neighboring coastline. The resulting media-storm caused a double digit drop in their home values. Can you believe protecting yourself from harm has come to this?
Mar 172026
“Imagine if World War II had been reported the same way Global Warming is reported.
We have and here is our result.”
“World War Not” – This first appeared as text on The Climatebull on September 28, 2015.
To Wit:
December 7, 1941:
…Sketchy reports have come in about ships taking on water in Pearl Harbor. Experts at CNS (Cartel News Service) say it is common for ships to take on water during storms and there are large pumps in the ships that handle such events. Let’s talk with an expert from the Enterprise Institute about pumps…”
Mar 032026
Malfeasance Day was a suggestion by the Editorial Staff of The Climatebull, in an effort to remove the hypocrisy of Earth Day by renaming it to its correct name: Malfeasance Day.
By 2017, it was obvious that Earth Day was no longer a celebration of environmental awareness, rather it had degenerated into a vast greenwashing event here in the US, and other places in the world focusing on revenue generation, propaganda, and idolatry. At its core, Earth Day had become an ongoing effort to obliterate critical thinking on key environmental points, like the changing climate.
Feb 172026
This post and its series of jokes were composed almost 13 years ago. It’s ironic, and a sign of our times, that so little has changed on the climate change issue. Sit back and enjoy our jokester as he runs through his monologue on the climate.
Also, this post, as well as all the Short Form Videos we are showing, are slightly different than the original text. You will find it interesting to revisit the original posts, after viewing the videos. There are some subtle insights to be acquired. I think you will enjoy them. We live in interesting times.
Lyrics was first published on 26 June 2013: https://climatebull.com/line-dancin-with-gaia/
Or to put it another way…
Anthropogenic forcing (a quantitative change in a control parameter) of (our) the radiative balance (structure) will foster the tipping point (bifurcation) in our climate (an attractor).
Or to put it another way…
Industry Declares:
“Hand Wringing As
The Most Dangerous Part of
Global Warming!”
This dialogue first appeared as text in the Newsgroup Sci.Environment on December 24, 1997. It was later added to the book in 2010, prior to publication.
“The Dialogues Of Sancho and Quixote, MYTHICAL Debates on Global Warming: 1997 – 2010”
Get to Know the Neighbors
Sancho: Sanctimonious Environmentalism
Quixote: Maniacal Capitalism
Jan 172026
“Hello, my name is Gabriela Gaia…”
“Hello, Ms. Gaia, this is John, from Corruption Inc. How can I help you?”
“Yes, well…”
“Before we start, I am required to tell you this call may be monitored or recorded for training purposes, litigation, or customer intimidation. Is that okay with you?”
“I expected nothing less. I am calling about the rain, in South America.”
“Hang on……..My records show there is rain in South America.”
https://climatebull.com/gabriela-and-the-call-center/: Gabriela and the Call CenterDec 222025
Climate models begin with different assumptions, varying degree of computational adornment, operational constraints, and sometimes different data sets or different cuts at the same data set. The reasoning that follows, will, by nature, force a divergence of the models. Regardless, assuming the models are properly assembled, that divergence, while it opens the door to doubts on specific results, invariably leads to insights resulting from the similar conclusions. In the case of our two climate models above–a storm arrives. And while we have taken immense liberties here, the result of you running our models should be the same–entertaining you while providing some very basic insight on the deadly-boring topic of computational models.
Nov 302025
For too long now, farm animals like cows have been the brunt of a malicious media campaign to blame cows, and alike, for Global Warming, as well as the dismal future facing us all from excessive methane releases into our atmosphere.
In response, our Senior Researcher, Dr. Moolinda, provides us with an inside view of the real issues on why methane is an issue we all need to understand. Not only to falsify the threat we face from cow flatulence, but to open our eyes to the reasons methane is the game changer for the Tipping Point.
Nov 282025
Success in the climate change battle looks like this…
———————————-
From Yahoo: “…Commodities strategists at Wall Street’s top investment banks expect 2026 and 2027 to be tough years for the oil industry. And that’s after a nearly 20% decline in oil prices this year.
Oct 102025
From CNN, today October 10, 2025:
“Scientists discovered something alarming seeping out from beneath the ocean around Antarctica” <—- this is not satire
From June 4, 2012 – And it was old news then…
“Arctic Pie Surprise” <—- this is satire
WCGW?
In a climate change WTF, Houston displays the face of America’s climate change future.
Tired of repeated battering by over-energized storms, flailing about seeking solutions to its self induced wounds, the oil and gas hub seeks to form another committee to explore options for remediating the accelerating destruction from repeated storms fostered by anthropogenic forcing of the radiative balance (the climate crisis).
May 042024
An Effective Strategy To Help Mitigate The Climate Crisis
Below is a wonderful strategy for winning the climate battle
——————————————
From the Press Release:
“…Gov. Jay Inslee and Washington State Department of Commerce Director Mike Fong previewed the $45-million state program offering instant rebates to eligible residents purchasing or leasing an EV. The program opens in August…”
Jan 052024
The Social Contract
Ignorance, fear, confusion, ego, a lust for control, a lust for power, deception, war, a lack of truth, misplaced faith, a lack of hope; these have all led to the social contract as a course from the madness, through the avenue of science, to the veneer of civilization that has taken hold in the West since the Renaissance; because in the Renaissance, hope became tangible as institutions turned out to be accountable to truth. In Africa, the East, and the Mid-East, the same process took place sooner, and then wobbled due to the whims of fortune and the lure of power.
Nov 282023
It’s not like the comedy of COP 28 is unpredictable…
————————————————————–
October 30, 2000 – Sancho, Quixote, and the Keystone COPS
Sancho: “Nice camera, Quixote, planning on shooting pictures of some oil wells for the den?”
Quixote: “You’re way too cynical, Sancho. I’ve got this camera because I’ve got a new assignment. I’m going to be a director for the cinema.”
Sancho: “And I’m Clark Gable. I thought you were doing that cloning thing?”
Nov 172023
The Oil Wars
– An Unauthorized Review –
In the late 1970’s the fossil fuels companies were informed by their R&D people that burning fossil fuels created greenhouse gases (GHG) on a large scale. As a result, and due to the Greenhouse Effect, GHGs would inject excess energy into our delicate planetary climate system, ripping it out of balance, and re-configuring a benign climate into a deadly climate–endangering the lives of billions.
I wonder how many years it will take for truth to overtake the myth of Prohibition.
The Myth:
The National Prohibition Act, known informally as the Volstead Act, was designed to execute the 18th Amendment, which established the prohibition of alcoholic drinks. It had an effective date of January 17, 1920.
The Reality:
Mar 282023
For the first time, renewables (solar, wind etc.) surpass coal as a source for the US electric grid.
So the news is good, renewables increased from ~4% in 2009, powering the grid (according to EIA), to ~21% , powering the grid (according to EIA) in 2022. (Insert smiley face and celebration balloons here.)
Oct 182022
Mar 072022
WAR
In
EUROPE
One of the top three oil-producing countries on the planet, Russia, has started a shooting war, invading the Ukraine. In the process, Putin threatens to use his nuclear option if his demands are not met.
Hold on. Is he nuts? What does he have to gain?
Or perhaps he is a mouthpiece for others? Okay then–what do “they” have to gain by holding the people of Earth hostage?
Aug 112021
Humans, a most-willing participant, whip the climate forward, howling maniacs snapping their economic depends at the burning landscape, spitting flames into the skies and onto the net, all the while expecting the wide cracks harboring their brain trust to make a safe landing in the oily excrement of their making. A mad program to corral an all-daring Gaia.
Oct 052018
Grimm’s Thesis
Once upon a time in the state of Cosmos, in the musical town of Universe, on the street called Milky Way, there lived a family named System. In that family there was a daughter named Gaia, a precocious child with beautiful, watery blue-green eyes. When asked how old she was, Gaia replied, “I am 4.7 billion years old. That means I am almost five. But I might not make it to six because I have a very bad cold. I have had it for the last 60 million years or so.”
Aug 042018
“The Rag”
Originally, “The Rag” was a nostalgic commentary on my childhood experience with the New York Times and the New York Daily News. It is also included in this post later on, for clarity.
Or, How I learned to Love 21st Century American Environmental Philosophy in Fifteen Paragraphs, or Less
- Humans are part of the environment and they are influencers of the environment.
- Your environment can be many things: the physical environment; the economic environment; your interior environment, your health environment, or the political environment.
- The political environment in the US is degenerate; however, we the electorate can influence the political environment and nurse it back to health. Consider how much humans have influenced the planetary environment by upping our production of the insignificant CO2 molecules.
May 132018
Forty Reasons Why There Isn’t Class Warfare In The USA
To Wit:
- It isn’t class warfare because, if it were, you’d already be stripped of your privacy
- It isn’t class warfare because, if it were, you’d see corrupt media and corrupted politicians marketing your chains as technological progress
- It isn’t class warfare because, if it were, you’d know corrupted-media when you encounter it
Apr 122018
Chucklehead & Wheeler
Profligation
Prostitution
Pandemonium
Looking for a do-anything whore? Have the times caught up to you? Does your slow drilling get you down? Or have all the normal whores cut you off for your…exotic behavior? Perhaps that last Tinder-find disappointed you, again? Call Chucklehead & Wheeler. Your go-to, do-anything, whores in Washington DC–and all over America.
(No. That is not a joke. It really happened.)
Today March, 23, 2018, just before his vacation, Donald Trump signed into law the $1.3 trillion government-wide spending bill released late Wednesday by Congress. The bill, among other items, rejects proposals to slash the budgets of Environmental Protection Agency and the Department of Energy.
(Hang on. There is a joke here. Let’s ask Scotty if he sees it. Scotty?)
Feb 262018
To Wit:
(Voice Over)
–Now. Breaking News, live from CAN, the Climatebull Action Network
Our reporter, Stephen Schneider, explains–
(Cut to reporter)
“Climatebull scientists are today releasing the most detailed simulation of our warming climate ever created. Called an irrefutable model that leaves no doubt as to our future, legislators worldwide have tuned in to see the results due out in a few minutes. Here to explain this wonder of science, computation, and communication is the lead scientist on the project, Dr. Hephaestus Rex.”
Feb 142018
Ring, Ring
“Hi, Lester. This is Bess Valentine. Your lobbyist in Washington…It looks like we may have an opportunity to turn this buggy whip thing around.”
“Oh yes, Bess Valentine. I remember you. How are you? Turn what around?”
“We want to bring the buggy whip industry back into the American mainstream.”
“Is this a joke?”
“The current leadership is claiming renewables are the death of coal and that coal should be preserved.”
Got your cheeseburger? Okay here we go! This is going to be so much fun for you!
The picture comes from the people who host The World Economic Forum, as in Davos, Switzerland. Very Nordic, very nice people…
There are only a few big words. If you get confused, maybe Mikey can help you with them–or maybe not. (In case Scotty gets bored and starts to cry–someone get him a binky.)
Oct 272017
Perhaps it is time to learn from our future; after all, it is through the future that we finally understand the present.
Aug 282017
Rex-Hunny
…Rex-Hunny, Harvey just will not leave us alone! He’s made a mess of the neighborhood with his partying. He’s closed down the bars and restaurants with his shenanigans. The maid can’t get here and the chauffeur is missing. The mess from Harvey’s partying is filling the streets with detritus, and some say it is going to take years to fix the roadways and buildings because of Harvey’s partying. Rex-Hunny, Harvey is a monumental disaster. Can’t you and your friends make him disappear? Throw some cold water on him or something!
From The News
…President Trump said that he is seriously interested in putting solar panels on the wall. “There is a chance that we can do a solar wall,” he said. “We have major companies looking at that. Look, there’s no better place for solar than the Mexico border — the southern border…”
Estimations of how much energy a solar border wall would actually produce vary, depending on the size of the array and the wall itself. But some companies are already imagining what it would look like…
Jun 022017
Riposte:
“Our National Argument With Cain”
(February 20, 2011)
The defining issue of our generation will be our culture’s response to human forcing of the planet’s radiative balance. So far, our clumsy response to the crisis is not the fault of science, technology, or a lack of riches. Our pitiful response is the result of a societal rot fostered by a leadership that now believes Cain was correct. To achieve an effective response, we must refocus our resources in ways that support the ideals that founded this nation.
Apr 232017
Earth Day Remembered
Malfeasance Day
From Exxonopedia, the corporate encyclopedia–
Malfeasance Day is an annual event celebrated on April 22. Various events are held during the worldwide event demonstrating support for the evisceration of science, the destruction of the scientific method, and the elimination of critical thinking. First celebrated in 2017, Malfeasance Day is now coordinated globally by SuperPACs.
Mar 112017
How To Dissect The Latest Twist: “Has The USA Lost Its Moral Authority?”
(dan, perhaps if you put this part first it would read better –editor)
Oops, oh that’s right. There This is the current drama: Our nation’s loss of moral authority. Let’s cut through this one. We wouldn’t want to miss a single Tweet. Insofar as Global Warming (anthropogenic forcing of the radiative balance), the United States of America is declaring war on the rest of the world by not supporting appropriate national controls on GHGs. Or did you miss that one?